Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
