We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
