first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
