Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
