I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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