is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
