it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My penis needs a shock collar
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
