Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
