I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
