covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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