Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
