Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
tell me about the fingering
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
