We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
