There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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