in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize