"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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