Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
