I didn't shave. On purpose
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
