We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.