She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups