sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.