i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV