can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
