3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize