So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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