Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
