Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
