OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
