we're blogging at a bar
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
