wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
