I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
