R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
