Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
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Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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