her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch