What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.