so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
