sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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