pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize