I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
