nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
