everyone is single if you try hard enough
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
