But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING