why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
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frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
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It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.