Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now? http://tfl.nu/lbi5
  Replies (21) Good night (4491) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life. http://tfl.nu/7obq
  Replies (9) Good night (692) Bad night (4183)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone http://tfl.nu/esjp
  Replies (68) Good night (6470) Bad night (1546)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift http://tfl.nu/rkcx
  Replies (52) Good night (5839) Bad night (1920)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless. http://tfl.nu/eill
  Replies (29) Good night (6497) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night. http://tfl.nu/uc8g
  Replies (6) Good night (4168) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything http://tfl.nu/uj6p
  Replies (8) Good night (2347) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (276): You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat. http://tfl.nu/s2nm
  Replies (6) Good night (2293) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???" http://tfl.nu/w522
  Replies (8) Good night (1356) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER http://tfl.nu/0nk8
  Replies (13) Good night (1665) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU http://tfl.nu/okh4
  Replies (6) Good night (660) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step" http://tfl.nu/eora
  Replies (2) Good night (1025) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  the boozy kind. is there any other?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having? (1-508): the boozy kind. is there any other? http://tfl.nu/b6l8
  Replies (4) Good night (731) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/k0oq
  Replies (2) Good night (782) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward? http://tfl.nu/adfm
  Replies (7) Good night (778) Bad night (275)

Randomize