remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.