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• (256): View more from Alabama

  My hair reeks of homosexuality.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot

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• (646): View more from New York

  You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

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• (980): View more from North Carolina

  My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!

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• (925): View more from California

  I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So many things can go wrong tonight.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is

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• (530): View more from California

  Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on the fast track to lesbian land

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