Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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