Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.

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  (814): I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave. http://tfl.nu/ropw
  Replies (2) Good night (1630) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them

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  (508): just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them http://tfl.nu/j2g6
  Replies (10) Good night (4086) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot

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  (603): So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot http://tfl.nu/44v5
  Replies (22) Good night (4505) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund

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  (814): moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund http://tfl.nu/o6j0
  Replies (5) Good night (2542) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.

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  (305): I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having. http://tfl.nu/q5k9
  Replies (17) Good night (3824) Bad night (1561)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know

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  (360): i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know http://tfl.nu/empv
  Replies (10) Good night (3776) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.

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  (717): i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it. http://tfl.nu/e8nk
  Replies (2) Good night (2165) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.

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  (208): I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind. http://tfl.nu/h3pw
  Replies (8) Good night (5276) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.

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  (405): I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday. http://tfl.nu/si72
  Replies (6) Good night (2015) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook

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  (419): I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook http://tfl.nu/40z7
  Replies (25) Good night (2791) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.

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  (404): You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control. http://tfl.nu/g1ps
  Replies (9) Good night (1800) Bad night (2610)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated

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  (602): Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated http://tfl.nu/w4re
  Replies (3) Good night (1111) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!

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  (727): I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that! http://tfl.nu/zrpi
  Replies (2) Good night (1141) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.

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  (732): I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already. http://tfl.nu/laji
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.

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  (206): I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night. http://tfl.nu/ej36
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (361)

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