Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i can't wait to go to hell

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): i can't wait to go to hell (1-248): yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure http://tfl.nu/7pwb
  Replies (2) Good night (1578) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person http://tfl.nu/pnlg
  Replies (55) Good night (3423) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/hrqs
  Replies (4) Good night (1404) Bad night (3794)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i used baking grease as lip gloss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i used baking grease as lip gloss http://tfl.nu/a8ny
  Replies (18) Good night (603) Bad night (5477)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I wish I had your problem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women (319): I wish I had your problem http://tfl.nu/60uu
  Replies (11) Good night (4608) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She's allergic to latex.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Lucky bastard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She's allergic to latex. (678): Lucky bastard. http://tfl.nu/kpxi
  Replies (30) Good night (5776) Bad night (1563)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway http://tfl.nu/h9fr
  Replies (8) Good night (3222) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny. http://tfl.nu/fz99
  Replies (23) Good night (1335) Bad night (2810)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares http://tfl.nu/x7b2
  Replies (22) Good night (6606) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night. http://tfl.nu/k3ni
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (1597)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book. http://tfl.nu/boxy
  Replies (15) Good night (3118) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God works in mysterious ways my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday... (303): God works in mysterious ways my friend. http://tfl.nu/qprf
  Replies (6) Good night (1509) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton! http://tfl.nu/r6h6
  Replies (2) Good night (212) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls. (985): Do it. DO IT. There can be only one. http://tfl.nu/899w
  Replies (3) Good night (1018) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high http://tfl.nu/opzj
  Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (286)

Randomize