Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.

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  (914): Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way. http://tfl.nu/3diq
  Replies (49) Good night (3729) Bad night (1159)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk

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  (864): you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk http://tfl.nu/iikf
  Replies (10) Good night (4576) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.

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  (973): don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping. http://tfl.nu/d4lu
  Replies (15) Good night (781) Bad night (2077) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.

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  (812): If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/nzcw
  Replies (31) Good night (5362) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.

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  (718): At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down. http://tfl.nu/ki6l
  Replies (18) Good night (7453) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.

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  (434): NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup. http://tfl.nu/qouj
  Replies (20) Good night (6583) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

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  (832): You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry http://tfl.nu/vuqf
  Replies (21) Good night (1753) Bad night (4459) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.

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  (216): Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades. http://tfl.nu/zsau
  Replies (10) Good night (3507) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.

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  (502): All I need is the Internet and a place to drink. http://tfl.nu/np52
  Replies (1) Good night (1471) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.

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  (618): some guy just burried his vomit in the sand. http://tfl.nu/hqvi
  Replies (7) Good night (1203) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...

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  (817): there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution... http://tfl.nu/4s12
  Replies (13) Good night (620) Bad night (1691) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands

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  (360): you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands http://tfl.nu/td11
  Replies (5) Good night (1411) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live

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  (614): After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live http://tfl.nu/6xtu
  Replies (6) Good night (382) Bad night (2065) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.

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  (612): 4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break. http://tfl.nu/kp6i
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there

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  (803): Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there http://tfl.nu/i0xr
  Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (276) Order T-Shirt

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