I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
