I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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