You work out of a Hotel?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off