Texts From Last Night

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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded

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  (306): This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded http://tfl.nu/nfzj
  Replies (59) Good night (1287) Bad night (7049)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

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  (360): afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep. http://tfl.nu/xylt
  Replies (52) Good night (1644) Bad night (8150)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"

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  (774): she's crying while babbling "all i do is win" http://tfl.nu/5fua
  Replies (10) Good night (3798) Bad night (1043)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now

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  (401): 5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now http://tfl.nu/dpww
  Replies (18) Good night (2270) Bad night (1814)
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  (714): View more from California

  What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.

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  (714): What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work. http://tfl.nu/so92
  Replies (7) Good night (1308) Bad night (667)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'd say they're off to a great start!

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  (703): Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles. (571): I'd say they're off to a great start! http://tfl.nu/1lyt
  Replies (4) Good night (2202) Bad night (577)
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  (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

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  (949): he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/m9y7
  Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (806)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this

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  (708): Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this http://tfl.nu/2xjb
  Replies (4) Good night (659) Bad night (1510)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?

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  (503): Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them? http://tfl.nu/lznr
  Replies (9) Good night (1390) Bad night (445)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.

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  (970): You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday. http://tfl.nu/28cn
  Replies (2) Good night (890) Bad night (362)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You is good. You is important. You is a slut.

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  (678): You is good. You is important. You is a slut. http://tfl.nu/0cr6
  Replies (9) Good night (1757) Bad night (906)
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  (310): View more from California

  If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.

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  (310): If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time. http://tfl.nu/wm4g
  Replies (1) Good night (1056) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Damn, well, it could always be worse

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad

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  (423): Damn, well, it could always be worse (1-423): For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad http://tfl.nu/5yq7
  Replies (0) Good night (397) Bad night (252)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.

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  (804): for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner. http://tfl.nu/3gkb
  Replies (0) Good night (265) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.

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  (802): You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high. http://tfl.nu/uaad
  Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (137)

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