She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
