There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
