Please, let me fuck your mom
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Panties = found
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
