Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wish you could order shots online.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
