doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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