nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
