I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
