I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
