Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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