I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My feet surprised me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
