My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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