Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
