she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize