i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
