Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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