Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
what day is it and did you see me today?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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