He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
