So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
