yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
