You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out