i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.