Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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