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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
