She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
