Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
third nipple confirmed
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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