it hurts more in the daytime
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
