am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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