Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
either way he was missing a nipple.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
