How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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