Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
