dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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