he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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