the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize